The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. car industry. Unable to come to an agreement over alimony, God intervenes to help Adam and Eve divvy up their marital belongings. May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. CARNAC: May a crazed sultan force you into mouth-to-mouth . CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora I hope it makes you laugh. Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? the Denver Nuggets. With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. CARNAC: May your only son become a Pointer Sister. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. "You Light Up My Life.". A: The American people. Line: 192 Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . A: "Yes man." I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. juice? A: Blazing Saddles. Similar Items. Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? Carnac the Magnificent Wikipedia Republished // WIKI 2 Oh, I forgot! Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches A: "Oh God!" Johnny Carson | People | Pioneers of Television | PBS Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to . Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. Inning. Q: What does the Galloping Gourmet do during an earthquake? A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. The Question: Name five things Dolly Partin has. What Johnny Carson can teach us about the modern mainstream media Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - The Quotation Station Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory Line: 315 The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? A: Stick 'em up! He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. 40 Years Ago, Johnny Carson Tells Most Famous Joke - KPEL 96.5 Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. A: 50 miles per hour. A: Sex. Box 4, Folder 45. Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling The character was introduced in 1964. A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. Q: What do you use to fry a peter? A: SAG Strike. Carnac The Magnificent: Now The Answers To 2011s Unknown Questions Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. A: Rough cut. Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. Johnny would don an . . Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? Source of Norm's "yak on the chest" Carson impression? A: Grape Nuts. dee? This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. Mouse over chart for play descriptions. CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. the memoirs of Richard Nixon. The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. A: 2001. The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. CARNAC: May a weird doctor join you at the hump of a camel. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. A: Executive action. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. The answer was always an outrageous pun. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. , The Question: What do you call a Methodist who is not afraid of water? In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. A: At both ends. promises. . Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. Get Image Page 2 of 4 Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. A: A full moon Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? Q: Name a Kristofferson. A: The four musketeers. The segment included several running gags. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. A: Short eyes. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment. Function: require_once. A: Mr. Coffee. Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. questions having never JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. sister's hope chest. Watch now: Free with ads. A: Black feet. "Oh, Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. on a country? Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. parents. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. Q: What would you see if Orson Welles dropped his pants? Explanation of WPA. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. . The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. [+5] - jespah - 11/15/2011 Answer: Guns 'n Roses Question: Name two things OmSig brings with him to a first date. A: O'Hare. Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. A: 2001. View all. Funny Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson Quotes stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer Gotta be Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. . Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. As a child of four can The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your #10. "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." Murine? At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. A: Groundhog. The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson GIF - Tenor Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. The Question: How much is Oprah Winfrey worth? contest. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. A: Never on Sunday. station? One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. A: "Coming home." Margaret's door? A: Shake and bake. Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. A: Milk and honey. Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. , The Question: What is the leading cause of divorce? The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. hope chest. Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. A: Rub-a-dub-dub. proctologist. Carnac the Magnificent. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California 42 Photos Capture The Art Of Cool - msn.com A: The diamond lane. Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? Comedic Curses - Google Groups A: Zippo Marx. A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. . Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and A: Around the world in 80 days. . It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. A: Henry R. Block. Flashback Friday: Heeeere's Carnac! | National Enquirer Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. A: Sale of the Century. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. A: David Frost. [1] Story. So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. A: "Rose Bowl." Share. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. Star Paths Likely Guided Minoan Culture | Ancient Origins This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. (Crowd applauds) #10. Carnac Alternatives and Similar Software | AlternativeTo A: Bi-focal. Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. A: Old wive's tale. Q: Where won't you see Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor? toilet is stopped up? The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? CARNAC: May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast. One of his characters, "Carnac the Magnificent," drew on his early entertainment work as a magician in Nebraska. May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. . Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? A: The Laughing Policeman. Carnac: May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bedpan. One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. shorts. In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. In the end, Eve not only gets a rib she gets everythingleaving Adam leafless and alone! A: De-frost. Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? Images tagged "johnny carson". It is original material for the most part. "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. Here's Johnny Carson's Personal Papers, and How You Can See Them Screenkey. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. dickory? Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - Page 2 - TheQuotation Station Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. Although he retired in 1992 and died in 2005, the consensus remains that Johnny Carson was the greatest late night-talk show ever. | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY Welcome once again, O Great Sage. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. , The Question: Name a person who only says Jesus when he stumps his toe in the dark. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop?
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