George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. if (a[a9]) return; Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? They should be more vivid. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. And fight songs. Thank you! Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. It seems only right. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Save the planet! } Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.
100 George Carlin Funny Quotes On Religion, Stupid People While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. 3. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. // googletag.enableServices(); Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. You have owners. George Carlin, 84.
Best Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin | SComedy I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. (function () { } 4. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often.
Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics } George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. He loves you and he needs money. Then you live in an old age home. We think in language. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. I think the life cycle is all backwards. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Were so self-important. Pictures. The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.George Carlin. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. And the supreme arrogance? The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. It will not be with jack-boots. Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town.
11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. How are YOU going to tackle today? Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { ' George Carlin, 56. > Quotable Quote. The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. Christmas Quotes For Mothers To Make Her Day, These 10 Quotes About Best Friend Love Are Perfect For Showing Your True Colors, 118+ Inspiring Christmas Quotes For Instagram That Will Bring A Warm Glow To Your Holiday Season, Mourning Your Dogs Death With Quotes From Rainbow Bridge, 15+ Rumi Quotes On Happiness That Will Boost Your Mood, These Rumi Quotes About Depression Will Bring You Comfort. I hate groups of people. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. var gads = document.createElement("script"); "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). The table is tilted, folks. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. Every day we present the best quotes! Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31.
Enjoy! Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldnt afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. [CDATA[
Top George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. Its interested in its own power. Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. Maybe this time itll work. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. I think that speaks for itself. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. He was an American standup comedian. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. }); Deal with it. } else { Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? }, Never argue with an idiot. We made 'em up. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. Enjoy!
George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. 4994. I've set my own rules to live by. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Use your fucking heads! "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin. And just dumb enough to passively accept it., The government doesnt lie, it engages in disinformation., Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let the government and industry poison me a little bit every day., Government wants to control information and control language because thats the way you control thought, and basically thats the game theyre in., Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation., I believe the government should step in where the free market fails., Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them., A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does.. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. The planet is fine. BAM! Its so f***ing heroic. " George Carlin Quotes We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country?
George Carlin Quotes Government. QuotesGram Quotes. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. } George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } "I have certain rules I live by. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. This made him outstanding. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; Theyre all in favour of the unborn. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. When you die, it all stays here. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. George Carlin. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Aparently we're not ready for that! The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. Property is theft. Its never going to get any better. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. Seems like a big waste of time to me! People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. #government. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. ! But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. People are wonderful. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, 17. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. Are these people kidding? George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) A.src = t; The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. They own you. #privileges. "Men are from Earth,. That's the problem. He loves you. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. It takes up a lot of your time. Manage Settings for(var i=0; i
Welcome | QuoteSaga Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. You have no choice. var ue_sid = "334-5362882-2183381"; Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. - George Carlin quotes. 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. Dont look for it. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? //]]> "Events.Namespace": "csa", You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. What do you say? Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", }()); A = p.createElement(s); (function(e){var c=e;var a=c.ue||{};a.main_scope="mainscopecsm";a.q=[];a.t0=c.ue_t0||+new Date();a.d=g;function g(h){return +new Date()-(h?0:a.t0)}function d(h){return function(){a.q.push({n:h,a:arguments,t:a.d()})}}function b(m,l,h,j,i){var k={m:m,f:l,l:h,c:""+j,err:i,fromOnError:1,args:arguments};c.ueLogError(k);return false}b.skipTrace=1;e.onerror=b;function f(){c.uex("ld")}if(e.addEventListener){e.addEventListener("load",f,false)}else{if(e.attachEvent){e.attachEvent("onload",f)}}a.tag=d("tag");a.log=d("log");a.reset=d("rst");c.ue_csm=c;c.ue=a;c.ueLogError=d("err");c.ues=d("ues");c.uet=d("uet");c.uex=d("uex");c.uet("ue")})(window);(function(e,d){var a=e.ue||{};function c(g){if(!g){return}var f=d.head||d.getElementsByTagName("head")[0]||d.documentElement,h=d.createElement("script");h.async="async";h.src=g;f.insertBefore(h,f.firstChild)}function b(){var k=e.ue_cdn||"z-ecx.images-amazon.com",g=e.ue_cdns||"images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com",j="/images/G/01/csminstrumentation/",h=e.ue_file||"ue-full-11e51f253e8ad9d145f4ed644b40f692._V1_.js",f,i;if(h.indexOf("NSTRUMENTATION_FIL")>=0){return}if("ue_https" in e){f=e.ue_https}else{f=e.location&&e.location.protocol=="https:"?1:0}i=f?