Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. Carl: Maybe you can even resurrect your band. "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". Steve Urkel: Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Empty the cash register! Carl Otis Winslow: I told him I was taking him over to see you. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Oh, good. Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? Carl Otis Winslow: Out for a walk around the block. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. Laura Lee Winslow: No! Steve Urkel: [drinking spiked punch] What is this? The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. Laura: Waldo, what's with Steve, he's acting wierd, even for him! Harriette Winslow: So Oona how are things in Altoona? Laura Lee Winslow: Oh you're not a sorority, you're a bunch of vicious, stuck up barracudas with teased hair and push up bras. During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class. Now, I may have taken a sip of my mom's coffee, but I Chain: I'm talkin' about the other kind of wired! Waldo: [pause] Wow! Topics Nerd. Stefan Urkelle: Go home, go home, GO HOME! You would win the gold. Instead of cool, it was set on Nerd. A small gastronomic goof up. Rachel Crawford: I'll just take your word for it. First of all, this is not a real date. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! Carl Otis Winslow: Calm down, Harriette, you're overreacting. Harriette Winslow: Before you stormed out of the house, I forgot to mention to you that I called OGD's Grandmother back in Detroit. Harriette Winslow: Did I embarrass you, Carl? Rachel Crawford: How 'bout double the usual? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Big Guy, what are you up? Laura and Judy, divide up the rest between Barbie doll fans and Lego lovers and get them upstairs too! Harriette Winslow: Carl Otis Winslow, I'm ashamed of you. I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. Laura Lee Winslow: I know, but he said 'get lost, Laura'. [splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]. Can you believe that? Steve Urkel: Could. What bright side, Weasel? Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! I will not give you a lock of my hair. Steve Urkel: I had my first allergy attack when I was nine. Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! My, what strong arms. Steve pits eight guys against each other in the battle for the best pickup lines. I'm cooking breakfast. Carl Otis Winslow: No. Harriette Winslow: You were gone for three hours. Laura Lee Winslow: Did they let you take one? So, what's cookin', good lookin'? See more ideas about steve urkel, humor, urkel. Laura: Steve, did you eat that moldy cheese? Steve began working on more elaborate inventions, and in "Little Big Guy" he had a new idea. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why are you upset, Waldo? Carl: You know, the only thing worse than not catching any fish is hearing you sing about it. Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! I have a muscle in my forehead that will not stop jerking! Their own version of the 3 R's? Lionel: Really? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well it wasn't funny. Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. She's mine! Laura Lee Winslow: It was just a little practical joke. Refresh my memory. Rachel Crawford: Well, Steve, I am your boss. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? I'm being born! Played by Jaleel White, Urkel joined "Family Matters" at the end of its first season, which one of his castmates says was a production decision that changed everything. Chocum hi chip chok!". It's not fair. Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! Steve Urkel: Thanks. Harriette Winslow: I am not! This poker game is important to you and I messed it up by inviting this windbag. Steve Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Steve Urkel: Well, ya see, we had a little muffin mayhem. Carl Otis Winslow: I do not and keep your voice down the neighbors might hear you. Harriette Winslow: You eat all that ice cream and you can kiss your diet goodbye. [looks over to the busted parts of the transformation chamber]. [the photographer takes a snap shot of Eddie nerously laughing as Carl drives him away]. I love my Army. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [He walks towards Eddie and pulls out a folded flyer he took out of his pant pocket. I can't even tell her it won't ever happen again! I don't know what to say. Carl Otis Winslow: Better, I locked him up. Can you imagine that? Not when it's swirling around a porcelain tank. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. Why, because of you, he's swapping recipes with Wolfgang Puck. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Serious. Sign up | Log in An . This is my mother. 1. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Hey Steve, Was'sup? Aunt Oona: The water main snapped when the roof collapsed. Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. Myra Monkhouse: Um, one plus one equals fun? Stefan Urquelle. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Laura: [Curtis is about to break bad news to Laura] Curtis! There's a lot of bad pickup lines out there. Carl: Oh, you heard me, don't ever come back. Waldo: [after thinking a moment] Ok. You see, I use verbs. Steve Urkel: Practice. He's fanning his hace with a plate as Eddie walks in]. A bee to a blossom. Carl Otis Winslow: Society places too much emphasis on being thin. Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. Steve Urkel: I've never tried out for athletics before and the equipment list says that every guy should wear a cup. I can't afford a B on my permanent record. As played by Jaleel White, the ultra-nerdy teenager with his whiney voice, awkward walk, pants rolled up high, and apprehensive catchphrase "Did I do. And we practiced for six minutes! Laura Lee Winslow: You're lucky, you got into a great fraternity and all it cost you was your best friend. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, bring me a slice. You dumped one of my relatives in a Hefty bag. Waldo: I can't talk to girls. Steve Urkel: Boyd whipped Eddie. You got the whole family off on the wrong foot. Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. Or was it yellow? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. Steve Urkel: [Climbs over the balcony and falls] Oh! And I'm sorry. Carl Otis Winslow: Alright Harriette, you were a liiiiiiiittle abrasive tonight. Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. [Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his Swiss Melody Chimes and Carl is furiously awaken by it. I was in a high-speed car chase and ran out of gas. [after Carl comes out of the busted transformation chamber in an Urkel like fashion, due to Myra's tampering]. We're having big fun here. Rachel Crawford: It's okay, Steve. Steve Urkel: Yeah, but now I have an excuse. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Let's call it recycling. Well, that's gonna stop right now! Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. You're a fine man.You'll be spending the month of May in your room, but you're a fine young man. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. You're so beautiful, you take their breath away. Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. I'm going to give you an 'A'. Steve Urkel: Then your nasal passages swell and your nose and throat slam shut tighter than a clam. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: DAN DRUFF? Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. [puts his thumb as his mouth, baby voice] If I were five. You know that? Laura Lee Winslow: Now, for the championship and the toaster oven, who made the first patented shoe sewing machine? He doesn't have the advantages to see how good the cops are like our kids have. Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. Carl Otis Winslow: I didn't bring my gun. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [cracks a laugh but tries to stop] It's so sad. Steve Urkel: Ssssh, not while I'm pouring. Steven Quincy Urkel: Oh, put a cork in it, Missy! Laura: That you'll never go into outer space again, Steve Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. I was just talking with your grandmother. Steven Quincy Urkel: Land sakes, woman. Eddie: [after he has heard her quickly renouncing her love for him] Myrtle, what's my life going to be like without you in it? The black kids won't talk to the white kids, people are calling each other names, taking sides! Lt. Murtaugh: I dropped the, uh, nerd off next door at the, uh, nerd house. Rodney Beckett: [after seeing Eddie's music video] I can't believe it. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah? Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What're you so happy about? Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! He just told you to get lost. Laura Lee Winslow: [Faces Ty] Steve is my brother? Just blacked out for a second there! Jaleel White had a very busy handful of years in the '90s. Steve Urkel: Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night. Could you write that A down on a piece of paper? [laughs]. I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. Rachel Crawford: Well, I'm planning dinner for a very, very special friend. *You're* gonna sleep in the bathtub! He opted ofr early retirement. Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. Carl: I can't tell him I don't remember him! Steve Urkel: Laura! The valet gave me a tip. Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. Carl Otis Winslow: It's full, Harriet! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You remember our flyer party, the one that I'm clearly on record as totally aganst. In fact, I'm grounded. It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. But I like myself, and that makes me cool. So, if I tell him I don't remember him, I'll look like a jerk and I still won't remember him. Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. Steve Urkel: Carl, I brought the notes to go over with Laura. Harriette Winslow, Carl Otis Winslow, Laura Lee Winslow, Rachel Crawford, Estelle 'Mother' Winslow, Judy Winslow, Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [in the rap video] We are a family, we share all we got and that's easy to see, cuz we are a family! Laura Lee Winslow: [Yelling at Judy who's trying to shove her plate in front of Eddie dishing food] Can you wait? Harriette, THERE IS A CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM!