Your father was a wise man. After the funeral, friends may visit the bereaved, usually bringing gifts of fruit. A compassionate gesture is often all thats needed while visiting the acutely bereaved. May God guide your sons soul to attain the right path. 1. Someones positive familial and community impact is enough of a statement to their character in and of itself. The Hindu religion believes that when a person dies, his soul goes into another body. Whats regionally accepted in Southern India, for example, may not be appropriate or even standard in the North. Time spent at the funeral home may vary. This setting gives the family a larger space to accept visitors and allows easier interaction with others. As a general rule, the closer your relationship to the bereaved, the sooner you should contact him or her. The more eulogies that are to be delivered, the shorter yours should beno less than two minutes, but no longer than eight to ten. Some people have the knack for amplifying or worsening the existing sorrow by dropping pessimistic remarks such as Ohshe was so young, she had her whole life ahead of her!, How sad it is for her children! When in doubt, silence is the best option. The traditions and rites of Hindu funerals may vary. There are no set customs prohibiting working during the period of mourning, so returning to work is often an individual decision. He leads the family and mourners in various Hindu funeral rituals. Sri kamakshi Lunch box Brahmin Home made cooking service - around madipakkam, velacherry. When offering sympathy messages to an Orthodox Hindu for their sibling, youll find that the atmosphere of condolences is much different. People should wear white and not black. Traditionally, the Hindu funeral ceremony involves a ritual burning of the deceased body. Can I get anything for you?" Would she like to have a reception for some or all of the attendees of the memorial service? In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. 9. Exchange stories about your loved one. Although their intent might be good, it doesnt always work that way. Are you sure you want to Unsubscribe from Malayala Manorama News letter/ Alert. A Hindu death ritual comprises of three parts: So, the actual funeral takes place at the deceaseds home, although actual events can be considered a wake according to western standards because of its short span. Find Appropriate Sympathy & Condolence Baskets. If you knew him, some kind words about himperhaps an anecdotewould mean a lot. This can occur when friends or colleagues show up and we forget for a moment that it is a solemn occasion. Hare Krishna. Although attitudes and risk tolerances vary, no sane parent would knowingly do anything that would harm their child. Few people are comfortable visiting a home where death has just occurred. Families differ in their religious beliefs, social preferences and cultural outlook. All Rights Reserved. You can quickly highlight a friends accomplishments without getting too wordy while acknowledging their belief systemsas a general way of living. Determining the best time to contact the bereaved generally depends on your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died. It is specifically meant for those who are contemplating visiting a recently bereaved family. Ask the person who will be officiating at the service for any tips on preparing and delivering a eulogy. For many people it can be a great comfort to know that friends are thinking of them in such a difficult time. One must specifically avoid words that trivialise the event, some hilarious examples being: I cant believe he is deadhe looks like he might just get up any minute! Thank the family for offering the honor to you. Today is a sad day for us. Bereavement support organisations for all faiths, Useful bereavement resources for health and care professionals, Useful Good Thinking bereavement resources for all faiths. Keep your pet leashed, and clean up after it. What to do: Mourners may dress casually. However, it is usually the eldest son who presides at the cremation. Such tasks can include arranging for the ambulance, delivering food, cleaning the house, doing the shopping, taking care of paperwork, keeping smaller children occupied and assisting with funeral arrangements. Others go the extra mile and debate whether the person might actually make it to heaven or settle for hell. Well take you through some examples of condolences or sympathies below and try to iron out whats commonplace or whats appropriate in specific contexts. Even though you're new to the neighborhood, your neighbor would likely appreciate your expression of sympathy. It is important to avoid language bloopers like hearty condolences, a common error in this part of the world. The length of the mourning period in Korea is largely dependent on the individual and is traditionally for 100 days. They'll surely understand. May she rest in peace. Weapons do not cut this Spirit, fire does not burn it, water does not make it wet, and the wind does not make it dry. If you are a casual friend or extended friend: Send an email or text immediately and follow up after the. Copyright 2018 Manoramaonline. Simple condolences are universally acceptable. Family members have an open invitation to attend the service. 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Such people can be heard passing comments like When you look at her, she doesnt come across as someone who just lost her husband. During the thirteen-day period of mourning following the death, the presence of friends and family helps create positive karma to help prepare the soul for its next incarnation. When someone has lived a happy, full life, there may be increased celebrations and dancing. (2008). You have a great responsibility now. Some illnesses are so severe that the body would succumb despite doctors doing their best. Hare Krishna. Often, the best thing one can do is to listen patiently without interrupting. May Lord Krishna grant you strength. He would tell you that mourning only keeps you from fulfilling your role as head of this family. Many users would be better served consulting an attorney than using a do-it-yourself online 2. Though a useful principle to follow universally, it is most handy while visiting the bereaved. If the bereaved person would rather speak to someone they dont know or needs additional support, specialist bereavement support services (see below) are available. Remember, the subject of your eulogy is the person's best qualities, not your feelings. The funeral directors will take the body for bathing, dressing and anointing with the permission and in the presence of chosen friends and relatives before the funeral rites take place. Hindu funeral rituals decree that cremation is the custom, but the deceased body remains in the home of the family until you move it to the cremation place. What customs and traditions should I be aware of so that I can be respectful? If a Hindu, they can participate in the chanting of mantras. Everyone in this community respected your father. Through cremation, the five basic elements, known as thepanchbhut, are returned to the universe, signifying the maintenance of cosmic equilibrium. Women need to dress conservatively with knees and arms covered. Decide upon the best way to get the word out to friends and relatives about the service. This link will open in a new window. For example, chewing loudly with an open mouth and talking with ones mouth full of food are considered bad table manners not because the offender has a problem with it, but because the others would find it repulsive. Some Hindu traditions advocate devotional singing and scriptural recital during this time, rather than consider it a time of mourning; instead, realising it as a celebration that the soul has now been liberated and resides eternally in the abode of God. You can also donate financially if you can. Recalling a good deed that the person did, but the family was perhaps unaware of, can be particularly heart-warming. Your sister was a beautiful person. One should not send flowers or gifts to the Hindu funeral. This is an important death ritual, which usually takes place throughout the mourning period. On the one-year anniversary of the death of the loved one, a memorial service is held in the family home. form. Everplans is not a licensed healthcare provider, medical professional, law firm, or financial advisory firm, and the employees of Everplans are not acting as your healthcare providers, medical professionals, attorneys, or financial advisors. I'm here for you." After that, the body is moved to the cremation place from the home, where the cremation ceremony takes place. Support the family with thoughtful and appropriate Hindu sympathy meals, baskets and memorials. Notes of condolence should be acknowledged with a handwritten note. to an Orthodox Hindu for their sibling, youll find that the atmosphere of condolences is much different. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. (n.d.). The soul, however, must continue with its journey. The Spirit is not destroyed when the body is destroyed. It is appropriate to visit the bereaved before the shraddha ceremony and attend the service. If you are a colleague or acquaintance: Send an email or handwritten note immediately. During the initial communication with the family or familys representative, the details surrounding the funeral, burial and memorial service may be obtained. Envisioning Fatherhood: Indian Fathers' Perceptions of an Ideal Father. And unlike a phone call or a personal visit, e-mail doesn't require an immediate response from the recipient. Instagram. Rather than ask Do you need anything it is better to be specific about what we can do for them. "Mukhagni" or a cremation ceremony. Although Hindus take solace in their belief in reincarnation and liberation, they still experience grief. Some traditions will not allow for a wedding to take place during the year. (Extra chairs can be made available for the elderly.) This period of time is rooted in traditional beliefs, with each of the day being divided into "minor days" (4 days for each week). Hindu funeral rituals decree that cremation is the custom, but the deceased body remains in the home of the family until you move it to the cremation place. With this in mind, here are a few ideas for what to write in a. Blaming the family for not doing enough. The family would have got over the immediate grief and anger by then, and will be receptive to conversation. Otherwise, they may quietly sit throughout the chanting. After you hear about someones death, it is pretty customary to visit the deceased family at their place immediately for offering your sympathy.