"It's important in life if you don't give a s**t. It can help you a lot. "Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. You have owners. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. Determines whether the visitor has accepted the cookie consent box. ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. This cookie is set by the BlueConic. Quantserve sets the mc cookie to anonymously track user behaviour on the website. Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. '", 70. ", Join half a million readers enjoying Newsweek's free newsletters. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. 2. So I don't trust none of them. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. Others see it half empty. You have owners. This cookie is used to track the behavior of a user within the current session. "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. AddThis sets this geolocation cookie to help understand the location of users who share the information. This cookie is used to detect and defend when a client attempt to replay a cookie.This cookie manages the interaction with online bots and takes the appropriate actions. Rubicon Project sets this cookie as an internal user identifier that stores user data to be used for analytics. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. Its a subconscious need to project the penis into other peoples affairs. Petras said shes glad the industry is finally catching on to her talent. "Don't give your money to the church. They don't want to hear from you . "In America, anyone can become president. And complaining about the politicians. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . They OWN YOU. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. This cookie is used by PwC to track individual visitors and their use of site. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ", 107. Where are these people hiding? But once you're born, you're on your own. Then you're just what they're looking for. "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? ", 104. Hatred/ bias against opposition: Have you noticed that nearly every time, Mr. Trump is questioned, or feels accused, etc, he replies by bringing up his less - than - popular former political opponent, Hillary Clinton, and repeats claims which have been refuted and disputed, numerous times, but his core followers, continue to accept? The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. I took his shoes. AshwaniGarg on Twitter: "RT @JamesMelville: "They own everything This narrative is based on a deliberate fiction. ", 105. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. They got you by the balls. "I have as much authority as the Pope. Obedience, respect for authority. If youre preborn, youre fine; if youre preschool, youre fucked. ", 114. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. "Things you never hear: 'Please stop sucking my d**k or I'll call the police. "The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. Even right-wingers are getting tired of their queerphobic schtick. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. ", 25. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". The Great George Carlin. Simple thing. '", 93. This anonymous data helps us to better understand users' needs and customize the website accordingly. "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. They own, and control the corporation. The uuid2 cookie is set by AppNexus and records information that helps in differentiating between devices and browsers. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, The Funniest Political Quotes of All Time, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. You think your current financial. This cookie is set by Segment to track visitor usage and events within the website. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. I'm a cowboy who . You voted them in. You throw out the first three commandments, wssst! If they say, Were the So-and-Sos, take a walk. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. - Gin Wigmore. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is . 51 Genius Quotes That Prove George Carlin Was A Modern Philosopher No nothing! Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. ", 9. ", 90. He talked about things that could be considered controversial, like politics and politicians, religion, drugs, and the demise of humanity. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. Carlins truth-telling about the influence of corporations in America and the willful blindness that allowed someone like Trump to assume power. "I don't believe anything the government tells me.". "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. "I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. Which doesn't make any sense at all. Forget the politicians. He saw it from a . The Bachelorette's Angie Kent and Carlin Sterritt have been on holiday together in Vietnam the past week and sharing lots of glamorous selfies. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. ", 88. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. "I have lots of ideas. Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. George Carlin on the American Dream (with transcript) They dont want that. You don't. Theyll get it. ", 3. ", 60. of American cultural paradoxes.. You will be notified via email when a new post is published. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created.". [5] And another one: and if you want to make this about "comedy" then Carlin should tell these things called "jokes". Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. "Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? He's not a cheese. What we need is a king, and every now and then if the kings not doing a good job, we kill him. That's against their interests. George Carlin is Back from the Dead to Haunt Trump in Devastating And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. ", 124. Vimeo installs this cookie to collect tracking information by setting a unique ID to embed videos to the website. ", 14. 2024 George Carlin for president! RIP : r/antiwork RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. I had an imaginary friend. It was during the waning of the Nixon years, where confidence in government was beginning its slide down to the Stygian depths where it rests today; the Vietnam War, and racial unrest, continued to rage on. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. "The planet is fine. It even sparked a legal case with the U.S. Supreme Court! You know what they want? And I didn't really care in the first place. AdScale sets this cookie to target ads by registering the user's movements across websites. Politicians don't care about you. Germany lost the Second World War. 'You give us a color, we'll wipe it out. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Two decades later, the anti-abortion movement hasn't really changed. This Cookie is used by Yahoo to anonymously store data related to user's visits, such as the number of visits, average time spent on the website and what pages have been loaded. On July 26, a 2-minute video created by Pattern Integrity Films was published on YouTube, and it quickly took off via social media. 60 George Carlin Quotes to Help You Find Humor in Life - Quote Ambition "We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. "Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Its called dick fear! Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! He famously said he didn't vote, so he couldn't be to blame for whatever shit show we got ourselves into. the politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. RLCDN sets this cookie to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. ", 39. The table has tilted, folks. The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. If You're Preschool, You're F*cked': Read George Carlin's Epic 1996 Rant Against Anti-Abortion Conservatives . If a dog can do it, you can watch. Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks. "I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? Its you. ""Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They dont want to hear from you. Cloudflare sets this cookie to improve page load times and to disallow any security restrictions based on the visitor's IP address. Everything He ever makes dies. ", 15. The v1st cookie is set by TripAdvisor to collect details about how visitors use the website, by displaying user reviews, awards and information received on the TripAdvisor community. Whitney Webb on the Globalist Overlords Meeting in Davos Now one of his most famous routines has swept the internet a dozen years after his death. This is what we have to offer. In fact, sometimes you get the impression that theyre the only ones who vote. "Everyone smiles in the same language. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. "Sometimes people say, 'Do I try to make audiences think?' Board Messages . And Bushis pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. ", 89. '", 123. I mean, life is tough. "People always tell me 'Have a nice day.' ", 63. You show a clip of a young Richard Pryor and a young George Carlin on the set together with John Davidson. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Like the public. A 2018 survey by the Pew Research Center reports that less than half the country says elected officials care what . May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech.  Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and Everybody says they suck. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. ", 36. Was George Carlin a liberal or a conservative? - Quora ""Deep Throat: Think about it. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. ", 31. What are George Carlin's political leanings? - Quora These days, 'Trajedi. You have owners. Nothing changed. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. ", 10. ", 20. "When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. "Maybe its not the politicians who suck; maybe its something else. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. I just dont have as many people who believe it. The session information includes the identity of the user, recently visited links and the duration of inactivity. In 1972, he was arrested for violating obscenity laws after his infamous comedy sketch, 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television. ", 59. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. Angie Kent - Latest news, updates, gossip, photos and video | Daily I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. "I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the s**t out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. 'They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. ", 92. Teach them to question what they read. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. They own everything," the quote reads. Everybody complains about politicians. This cookie is set by the provider Akamai Bot Manager. You don't. You have no choice! Check out100 Best Dad Jokes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes101Bad Puns200Jokes for Kids, Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. Bing sets this cookie to recognize unique web browsers visiting Microsoft sites. "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' F*ck Hope. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Try spelling Evian backward. "Would a fly without wings be called a walk? "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? There's only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin - The American Dream - RU This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, Back In Town, Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. But once youre born, youre on your own. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. Fewer Texans. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Its because volunteers work for no pay. You caused the problem. ", 120. Then youre just what theyre looking for. Well, we know what they want: They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.". You'd have people tuning in don't even care about football! Individualists. Here's Why George Carlin's 1996 Rant on Pro-Life Conservatives Still What if I want to have a crappy day? George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. ", 117. A provocative new photo shoot has the trolls losing their minds alongside the likes of Noel Gallagher, Bob Geldof, and Azealia Banks. Known for his funny and sarcastic quotes, we think you'll get a kick out of his words. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. It doesn't matter what side you're on. ", 118. As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Carlin passed away in 2008 before he could see the prescience of his comedic wit and intelligence with the rise of Republican Donald Trump's candidacy this year. George Carlin: Back in Town (1996) - George Carlin as Self - IMDb That's what the owners count on; the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes everyday. They own everything. They don't fall out of the sky. But, he is wrong here. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. After that, they dont wanna know about you. "He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever f**k things up this badly. ", 11. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town, the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with "pro-life" rhetoric while simultaneously attacking social . The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Keep your circle small. I think the life cycle is all backwards. Now, some people like to twist that around. George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. ", 79. Provided by amazon-adsystem to make advertising messages more relevant to the users and their interests. ", 53. 125 George Carlin Quotes to Make You Laugh, Smile and Think Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. ", 7. ", 18. They dont care about you at all. And they all vote. No neonatal care, no daycare, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. In the standup special, which premiered just three years before Carlin's death, the comedian claims that "the real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions." "Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. ", 30. Carlin was at his best talking about America's broken political system, summing up the anger, resentment and frustration felt by much of the population who knew something was wrong but could not express it. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. 01. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. "We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. They will do anything for the unborn. NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. Try spelling Evian backward. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. An Adobe Analytics cookie that uses a unique visitor ID time/date stamp to identify a unique vistor to the website. On Sunday, the 29-year-old Angie revealed that not . Who's winning the culture war? | caucus99percent This cookie allows the website to identify a user and provide enhanced functionality and personalisation. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. "Laugh often, long and loud. ", 40. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube Why is modern comedy so bad compared to its golden age? Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. George Carlin "Forget the Politicians" and tells it like it is This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. They should be more vivid. "I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Thats against their interests. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. They own you. "In America, anyone can become president. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Photo: Matthias Clamer (modified by author) Source: Getty Images One-liner jokes. 123 Rocky_Roku 1 yr. ago Didn't he say that he despised liberalism just as much as conservatism? If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. Never join a group that has a name. The late great stand-up, actor and occasional philosopher George Carlin was known to cross the lines of what polite society would call good taste, but he himself drew a few lines when it came. This ensures that the cookie consent box will not be presented again upon re-entry. ", 35. George Carlin. When you leave them in the morning they stick their noses in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you return eight hours later. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. It also helps in fraud preventions. The rights and the rights of property. "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. This cookie is used to collect data on user behaviour and interaction to make advertisement on the website more relevant. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. - George Carlin. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Everybodys going to save something now. However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. "How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? Here's Why George Carlin's 1996 Rant on Pro-Life Conservatives - Mic I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Thats the problem. George Carlin, I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin, Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking; theywant obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin, How can He be perfect? George Carlin: 'Rights Aren't Rights If Someone Can Take Them Away' 234. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. But He loves you. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. Theyre not interested in that.
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